hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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