idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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