i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
