Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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