There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
