I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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