I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
