Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize