And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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