so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
