I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
