i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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