turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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