I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
