just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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