You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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