But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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