But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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