did you get engaged???
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
we're so committed to being not committed
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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