he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
