you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
