She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We were destined to go to rehab together
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
