idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
