I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
