my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
