That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
