margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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