Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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