I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
