3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
