Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize