so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!