I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice