Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
