She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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