she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you didnt know i had herpes?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
