I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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