You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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