I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
