My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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