but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize