Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
