im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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