Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  i just saw a foot job.

  (925): View more from California

  porn is incredible...

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  (925): i just saw a foot job. (925): porn is incredible... http://tfl.nu/di0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1484) Bad night (930)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off

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  (304): Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off http://tfl.nu/t5im
  Replies (48) Good night (1812) Bad night (3556)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.

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  (256): I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them. http://tfl.nu/zwx2
  Replies (31) Good night (1351) Bad night (5328)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.

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  (412): I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8. http://tfl.nu/h2aq
  Replies (17) Good night (8315) Bad night (929)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?

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  (765): What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth? http://tfl.nu/fmc3
  Replies (13) Good night (2779) Bad night (761)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.

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  (724): Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome. http://tfl.nu/u2pl
  Replies (5) Good night (1529) Bad night (554)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.

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  (623): I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about. http://tfl.nu/u0ol
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (890)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories

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  (413): Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories http://tfl.nu/hc8i
  Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.

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  (760): The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet. http://tfl.nu/760v
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (396)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Love me.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just for one nugget?

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  (508): Love me. (781): GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS. (508): Just for one nugget? http://tfl.nu/9y03
  Replies (6) Good night (2750) Bad night (689)
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  (310): View more from California

  Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere

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  (310): Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/c0r9
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (784)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup

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  (513): Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup http://tfl.nu/jbl9
  Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (361)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me

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  (479): Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me http://tfl.nu/1kph
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (583)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.

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  (208): I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles. http://tfl.nu/64t5
  Replies (3) Good night (1634) Bad night (299)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!

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  (662): I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good! http://tfl.nu/4rir
  Replies (0) Good night (230) Bad night (391)

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