How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
