Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.

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(305): View more from Florida

I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me

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(512): View more from Texas

The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

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(954): View more from Florida

I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.

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(425): View more from Washington

Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.

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(513): View more from Ohio

"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"

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