why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016