the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow