can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
