Umm I'm too high to move.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
