If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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