I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
