Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You're completely useless in the revolution.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
