Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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