But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
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Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
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you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype