We named our party play list daddy issues
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.