C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.