No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
