did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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