Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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