Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
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listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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