i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize