hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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