I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
