singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
