Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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