? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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